078 – Wednesday before Today

So our Black Knight has decided to ride out at the end of the month. I guess I’m not the only one who’s surprised; the news came quite abrupt even for me who works in two separate teams with him. I wonder how he’s going to break the news to the other team…. Yet, as I remember, his contract is only good for six months. There was no sign of a term renewal leading up to this final month and there’s definitely not one now. On the other hand, there was never any talk of plans within the team for his post-departure. It looks almost like the decision was made on a whim.

His internship hours have been fulfilled, and his desire to look around—for the sake of horizon broadening—needs to be fulfilled; these are the main reasons he gave for his farewell. Obviously, he didn’t find what he was looking for here; otherwise there’d be no need to look around. If we compare the current situation to a more intimate relationship, it’d look like a bridegroom telling his bride, “You’re bright and brilliant and all, but the fact is, I’ve already spent enough time with you. I’d like to go out and look around now. I might be coming back, but don’t expect anything.” Where is the love?

One of the reasons why I went back to work with that high-end cheap-pay optical shop is the fact that I love Papa Bear too much to refuse his invitation. If I love him any more, I’d even work for free.

Did our dear knight find that love here? We do have the environment to foster that kind of fellowship. But are we willing to fork out the time to nurture it—it always takes two to tango, right? It was an eye-opener to learn last month that some of us consider meeting together “A waste of time.” If that were the case, then BOB must have wasted a lot of time in the past few years, when we were making the littlest excuses just so we could get together.

It’s funny how Papa Bear reminded me just a few days ago that if I focus on Sun Solutions, the numbers will come. Likewise, if we focus on loving God and loving people as ourselves, the fruits will come.

I’ve been preparing for my own farewell from this particular team for more than three months now. The only reasons why our Black Knight has beaten me to it are the fact that I couldn’t find it in my heart to announce something like this over an e-mail and also the lack of face-to-face, heart-to-heart “Waste of time” opportunities within the team. (On top of that, I’ve never been good with goodbyes, but that’s not a reason; I’ve had plenty of time to prepare for this.) I’ve been longing to be more effective for my LORD, and in this team, I’m just too old in my current role and too young in my dear Old Bean’s role. The former groups are now one, so my mission is complete.

I finally got the chance to apologise face-to-face to 初哥 last night for Monday night. What a relief!

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~ by Pàdraig Son of Cloud on Thursday, 13 March 2008.